He always emails me poems on my birthday, some of which I am devastated to see are reproduced on this website. I am able to recommend a very experienced therapist.

Former colleague

Trevor Thickett continues to submit his poems to our office. His work produces a deeply unpleasant sensation of giddiness and revulsion, and is a highly upsetting experience for our staff.  We have applied for a court injunction against Trevor Thickett. 

Editor, Poetry Times

I've read some of Mr Thickett's poems. They are awful and have no commercial value whatsoever. Where does he get his money from? We have referred his case to the Serious Fraud Office.

Bank Manager

I have lived next door to Trevor Thickett for ten years. I wish I hadn't. I once heard him berate his son for only having one face.

Neighbour

I live on a abandoned railway station. 

Moocul Shiplund, assistant